2nd image recipe:
Kentucky Fried Screecher
First, prepare a bowl of water and a bowl filled with fine bread crumbs. Take your Kitchen Longsword/Machete, and decapitate a Screecher. Then, impale it to drain the stomach acids. Wait 2-4 hours, and get some decent cuts of meat.
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT: MAKE SURE ALL STOMACH ACID HAS BEEN VACATED FROM THE CHEST CAVITY OF THE SCREECHER. OTHERWISE, THE MEAT WILL BE POISONOUS.
Bring your Screecher cuts to your kitchen, and then dunk the entire thing in water. Then, start breading them. Do that for a while, and then make sure that nothing is overbreaded. Then, slap the meat in the pressure frier. Make sure to always cook it longer than you think you should.