Can anyone help me with feedback and etc, im not a good writer but i would love to take any advise and become better.
Thanks
Can anyone help me with feedback and etc, im not a good writer but i would love to take any advise and become better.
Thanks
Run the whole thing through a grammar checker first. It's already losing points when I see "Eninty's" for "Entities" and "u" for "you".
It's "Summer Days", not "Summer Day's"
I will just fix grammar or add something
I think I fixed everything.
Too many , and not enough .
Too many run on sentences, they are huge!
Mostly about grammar, im not native English, ill run a grammar check :)
Understandable, I have to do that because I'm not native english either, I speak native Norwegian.
Previous Critique: The concept may work. There are quite a few grammar errors and the classmates shouldn’t just be skinstealer copies. There is also no reason that there is a group that somehow don’t get killed by the classmates. The classrooms luring you with false safety is a nice touch.
New Critique: My previous critiques all still apply. My new critique is that the level breaks clinical tone, which is what makes articles sound science-y and informative. I notice you used "seems to be" when describing the classrooms. This is inappropriate since it is classrooms. I suggest you replace "seems to be" with "is." There are also places where you use second person (words like you), which isn't appropriate for clinical tone.
I hate to be that one guy but...
advice*
What do you think?