Audio Log - ██/██/████; Unknown Recording:
Preface: Hello? Anyone here? There's... nothing here. What the hell?
<BEGIN LOG>
Doors slam open; fast-paced footsteps can be heard.
Person 1: Sir, ████████ has dropped dead. We were trying to run experiments, and-
Person 2: What? I told y'all to keep him protected! How does every entity we assign the number 68 just keep dropping dead?
Person 3: Wouldn't be the first time it has happened.
Person 1: Well, unfortunately, we'll have to fi-
Screams of agony come from Person 1.
Person 2: Dear lord, what the fuck has gotten into you?
Windows and doors slam. Lights flicker.
Static
Person 2: Don't fucking die on m-
Person 3: It's no use, ████████ ████████; he's a goner.
Person 2: Well, I d-
Static
Person 3: Our best course of action now is to-
Static
Person 3: The M-
Static
Person 2: The audio's cutt-
Static
Person 2: Sav-
<AUDIO CUT OFF>
Summary:
Jesus Christ. I didn't expect that.Entity Number (Formerly): 68
Habitat (Formerly): ???
Description
████████ used to resemble a ████████ of ██████ origin until his untimely death on ██/██/████.
We are still looking into it.
Preface: Radio communications. Names are redacted for security purposes.
██████ █████: Holy shit, what the hell are we doing? This is like the 5th fucking entity numbered 68 that's just dropped dead within minutes of assignment.
███ █████████: I understand your concern, but there's unfortunately nothing we can do.
██████ █████: How about you assign 68 to a entity species that doesn't have a population of ONE?
███ █████████: We've tried that already. All of them dropped dead.
██████ █████: Well I won't stand for this. Does the M.E.G. know about this occurrence?
███ █████████: I am not permitte-
██████ █████: Shut it. I'll do this myself.
███ █████████: I would not recommend doing tha-
██████ █████: "I wOulD nOT ReComMeND dOiNG tHaT." Do you know how stupid you sound? I get it, doctor. You wanna keep my ass safe. Well I don't need protection. Just because you don't have a pussy doesn't mean you have to fucking compensate by being one!
███ █████████: Calm down.
██████ █████: Sorry doctor. I'm assigning ███████████ to Entity 42. Stay out of it.Entity 68 - "Johnathan Walters"
Entity Number: 68
Habitat: Level 15
Description
Entity 68, known to the locals as Johnathan Walters, is a humanoid entity found in the halls of Level 15 fixing faulty machinery. A passive individual, Walte
INTERCOM: All M.E.G. operatives to Level 15. Emergency protocol.
FATAL ERROR 251: NAME REDACTION SOFTWARE HAS STOPPED FUNCTIONING. FIX IMMEDIATELY.
Millie Kelsy: Can't Level 15 wait? I'm trying to-
INTERCOM: Subject of interest - Jonathan Walters. Acting insane.
INTERCOM: Cameras and lights down. Proceed with caution. 5 minutes pass. INTERCOM: Threat neutralized. Return to original posts.
Entity 68 - "The Partypoopers"
Derrick hammond: Hold the fuck up, Mrs. Kelsy. You can't just move The Partypoopers to Entity 68 without-
Millie Kelsy: I bet you I can. It's already too la-
An unknown period of time passes.
Derrick hammond: Goddamnit. They're all dead. Look what you did, Kelsy. Look what you started.
Millie Kelsy(?): Oh, I know what I'm doing. That's why I'm communicating through radio, not face-to-face. =)
Derrick Hammond: shit. You're one of them...
Millie Kelsy(?): Well played. I think it's time to celebrate, don't you think? =)
Derrick hammond: YOU FUCKING BASTARD-
[Audio end]
Didn't Millie Act Sus? She Was A =) This Whole Time...
Why is this not Partypoopers? They still exist in The Promised Land!