Contents
Ways to kill Jerry
Hello, if your reading this, my name is Normal. I wrote this because I want you to know how to defend yourself if you encounter an entity that looks like a blue bird named Jerry. I will be listing the ways by least effective to most effective:
Least Effective Ways
- Place him in a deep hole (Honestly, he could just fly up.)
- Kick him (You won't do any critical damage to him.)
- Punch him (I doubt your hands are faster than Jerry's wings.
- Insult him (He'll rarely commit suicide if you do this.)
- Disguise as Jerry and make his followers think you're Jerry (His followers are smart, I doubt you can trick them.)
- Feed him a chocolate cookie that's disguised as bird food (He can tell if it's real or fake, I don't think you can trick him.)
- Feed him grape seeds (He can still tell if it's real or fake, you won't trick him.)
- Spit fire bars at him (This is a manipulative bird were talking about, not a pro rapper.)
- Fart on him (You really think that can kill him?)
- Show him cringe (You will end up vomiting because of the cringe, but Jerry won't.)
- Insult him (He won't die but instead feel extremely offended.)
- Poke his eyes (His eyes are very strong, I doubt your strong enough.)
- Scare him(He might have a heart attack.)
- Delete him from the wiki (He will live on through the power of ten year olds.)
Mildly Effective Ways
- Dip him in marinara sauce (You could kill him if you keep him still long enough.)
- Throw him off a cliff (He usually survives but he will suffer some injuries.)
- Smash him against a window (He'll survive but will get severely stabbed.)
- Put him against an army of elite birds (It is unclear if Jerry or the army of birds will win.)
- Put him against an entity in the Backrooms (They would probably get confused but Jerry could end up getting into a fight.)
- Put him on a nail bed (Jerry will end up getting massive amounts of wounds but he won't die.)
- Put him against an army of partygoers (He'll either make them his followers or turn into a partygoer.)
- Squish him (Your probably not strong enough to do that.)
- Grab a mirror when he tries to hypnotize you (You will need to have perfect timing in order to do that.)
- Inject him with a virus (He'll either feel nothing or feel extreme pain.)
- Torture him until he wishes for death(Then let the problem take care of itself.)
- Hook him up to a car battery(Might not have a high enough voltage.)
- Make him commit scooter-ankle(Where are you gonna find a tiny scooter?)
- Feed him avocado (It's deadly to parrots but he knows that.)
Highly Effective Ways
- Drown him at the bottom of the ocean (I doubt he will get out of the ocean.)
- Burn him (After a while, he will explode.)
- Bomb him with a bazooka (This will 100% work.)
- Shoot him with a machine gun (He will have a hard time dodging.)
- Put him on a giant spike (Remember not to put him on a REALLY big spike, as it most likely won't impale him.)
- Eat him (You need to cook him first.)
- Cook him (Bird soup is the best!)
- Put him in a factory (The ending won't be pretty for him.)
- Inject him with various chemicals (His reactions are actually very funny and satisfying.)
- Slice his head with a katana (If you can get your hands on a katana then try this.)
- Chop him with a 1000 degree knife (Strangely, when you do this his eyes will grow big and pop out.)
- Put him against a phobic centipede (He won't survive that.)
- Put him in the Void (He'll be trapped but won't be killed.)
- Raid his room (If he has nothing, he will see no point in living and will commit suicide.)
- Drown him with Super Almond Water (This is possibly his worst fear.)
- Erase him from existence(Who is this Jerry you speaking of?)
- Drop acidic toxic waste on top of Jerry's head while he's not looking (You need to be very silent in order for this to succeed.)
- Shoot him with every gun possible (This will work, if you know how to use a gun.)
- Put him in an incinerator (Smell the remains of a burnt parrot.)
- Do all the highly effective Ways to kill him (I don't know if he will still survive this...)
- Buy the supershoes from samuel freeman and kick that bird with it (Totally effective.)
- If the way above fails, but a watch from samuel freeman, then stick it in front of your supershoe. then kick Jerry with it. (If he survives this he is basically immortal.)
Extras
So, after viewing these ways of killing Jerry, I came up some ridiculous ideas to kill Jerry.- RBTLRBTL
Ridiculous Ways
- Fall in love with him (He may suffer? Or be tamed? It depends on you, but it's really hard to order him to suicide.)
- Kill some other entities like facelings in front of him, and force him to commit suicide (Depends on how cruel the way you used to kill that entity.)
- Tell him that you knows what he did last summer, then trick him to do something dangerous as an exchange condition to keep his secret (Only works when he really did something wrong, but in fact you can change your time like 2016 or something.)
- Force him to play solitaire (He'll suffer and feel very old.)
- Change all his paintings to pictures of Obama (He'll cry so much that he'll drown in his tears.)
- Tell him that Santa Claus does not really exist (The same as the upper one.)
- Eat crumbly food over his gaming keyboard (If he has one.)
- Force him to listen to a recount of the entire FNaF lore (The same as the upper one but with a lower chance.)
- Show to him his gaming nostalgia (The same as the upper one because of nostalgia.)
- Make him buy NFTS and spend all his followers and life on bored ape yacht club.
- Show NSFW to him (He'll probably won't die but feel disgusted)
- Show ships of Jerry (He'll surely die this time.)
- Say to Jerry he is an ordinary bird (He will act like one I am sure of it)
- Show Jerry what species of bird Jerry is (I am unsure of how this works)
- Play a game of Russian Roulette (There is a 20% chance you might die before he does)
- Nuke the poor fellow (Don't actually do this)
- Go into his room with a team of Faceling solders that participated in the Radiation War in an attempt of a full on assault (This way wage another war)
- Have a bunch of Server Boxes follow you into the room and stand right in front of Jerry (A win win situation)
- Force him to play DnD (he will commit suicide as he will become a nerd)
- Force him to play LoL (he will become a discord moderator)
- Force him to play Geshin Impact (the same as the upper one)
- Send the Minicrewmate from Damn Seconds videos to kill him (I guess)
- Jumpscare him (if the jumpscare is scary, he might get a heart attack and die.)
- Rickroll him (he'll commit suicide and then transform into a bucket of KFC)
- Force him to play among us (He might be the imposter.)
- Show him how to cook a parrot (Maybe he fears nothing.)
- Feed him a shit ton of cookies (The cookie has chocolate in it.)
- Remove the Backrooms (If the Backrooms is gone, Jerry is gone.)
- Force him to watch a creepypasta video (he could commit suicide after watching the videos.)
- Force to him to annoy the 🗿 (The 🗿 will get so mad and the will send Jerry in a random level.)
- Rip his liver out and feed it to the dogs (he will be poisoned)
- Give him to the Partygoers (We'll make him one of us =)
- Force him to drink the battery acid drink (He'll get so hyper he'll die.)
- Force him to become a PNGtuber (he'll get roasted by every Entity, including the jokes one.)
- Force him to hear the Clash of Clans start up sound with headphones at max volume (The sound is very loud that will make Jerry ears explode.)
- Spring lock him with a spring suit from Fnaf (he'll have a 10% of surviving the springlocks.)
- (WIP. Anyone can help to extend this!)
Credits
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